Dos and Don'ts When Someone Is Having an Anxiety Attack

From workplace stress, to financial distress brought on by inflation and the cost of living crisis, we all continue to live in unprecedented times that deeply impact our mental well-being as well. In fact, ever since the COVID-19 pandemic began, there has been an exponential rise in people experiencing mental health challenges across the world. For many people, the last three years have been especially troubling, as they’ve been confronted with mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, and don’t know what to do when they or someone close to them is experiencing it.

So how does one handle an anxiety attack? 

First, we need to understand what anxiety really is. When a person feels an intense feeling of impending doom and fear due to stress or being in a situation that reminds them of past trauma, to the extent that they are unable to function normally, they experience an anxiety attack. 

A tangible way of identifying when someone is experiencing anxiety is to look at the physical signs. A person having a panic attack may:

• Find it difficult to breathe freely

• Feel dizzy or nauseous 

• Feel a numbing or tingling sensation 

• Feel pressure in their limbs 

• Experience chills or hot flashes

Moreover, in some extreme cases a person can even completely disassociate with reality and be unresponsive or not acknowledge anything that’s happening around them. While these are rare occurrences, if you observe this occurring, ensure the individual gets immediate medical help. 

A panic attack can be a very scary experience and handling it correctly can go a long way in calming the person down. Here is a list of dos and don’ts to help calm someone having an anxiety attack:

Don’t lose your cool when you see someone experiencing a panic attack

The first step is for you to remain calm. It may be difficult as it is distressing to see someone around you have a panic attack. But it is important to keep your cool so as to not add to their anxiety and make it worse. Taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself and thinking of what to do next is always good. 

Telling them to “calm down” is not going to magically fix everything

Asking a highly anxious person to calm down or relax, when they are clearly not in a state to calm down, is very counterproductive. You have to keep in mind that an anxious person’s brain is not letting them calm down due to a perceived threat. Their brain goes into fight-or-flight mode because of it. So asking them to relax when they can’t will just be more aggravating. Instead, you can talk to them in a soothing tone and reassure them that you are there to help them. 

Breathing exercises are a foolproof solution

Practicing deep breathing can be a very effective first step toward calming someone down. You can try counting breaths with the person, so that it is easier for them to follow you and calm themselves down. It’s natural that not everyone will be well versed in grounding exercises but this simple breathing exercise is easy to remember and highly effective — all you have to do is inhale for four counts and exhale for six to eight counts. The more oxygen enters the body and more carbon dioxide is expelled, the faster the body and the mind calm down.

Engage their five senses 

Grounding exercises — exercises that help one feel less overwhelmed by emotions — are important when dealing with a person experiencing a panic attack. Give the person something to eat or drink or feel or hear, in order to engage any of their five senses. The person can be made to walk barefoot on a comfortable surface too. Not only does it help the person come back to reality and manage the overwhelming wave of emotions, it also works well as a distraction to help them take their minds off how they’re currently feeling. 

You can’t fight off an anxiety attack with logic

It is very important not to be dismissive of the person and their worries during an anxiety attack. Yes, their fears may be unfounded at that moment, but it is important not to make them feel belittled about it. Do not counter their fears with facts or arguments that suggest that their threat is imaginary. Contrary to what you may think, dismissing their concerns will only add to their stress and might make them feel guilty or ashamed for feeling that way, which is the last thing an anxious person needs. Instead, be extra empathetic and do some deep listening, which is to listen to them with attention, without interrupting them, and be gentle and reassuring. 

Don’t shy away from seeking professional help

Despite our best intentions, there is only so much we can do to help when someone around us is in distress. In any such situation, it is best to seek help from a medical professional, especially if symptoms of shortness of breath and numbness persist even after the person has regained some control. There could be other reasons causing the symptoms and the person may need medical attention.

For some people anxiety is more manageable after some journaling. For some others, meditation or support groups can help. Alternative therapies like these act like multivitamin supplements for the mind — supporting our mental well-being and allowing us to lead a holistically fulfilled life. As more people seek help from professionals, mental health experts often recommend alternative therapies to complement standard treatment options.

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